Every so often, you make decisions that are not your finest, your smartest, or in anyone’s best interest. More often than not, those decisions lead to some of life’s biggest regrets. Mine have, I know that much. However, this evening, some of my biggest regrets became history not to be repeated.
A few days ago, I decided to do something that would lead to an answer about a long-standing question. I wasn’t sure that I was ready to hear the answer, but I knew somewhere deep down that I needed to know. This evening, I got that answer. The answer was that someone I cared so deeply for, yet hurt so much, was no longer walking on Earth. Instead, that person was walking among angels in heaven, an appropriate place for such a beautiful soul.
During the conversation after learning this, I couldn’t help but think about a Garth Brooks song – Unanswered Prayers. I hung up the phone, feeling as though something lifted a weight off my shoulders. Something made me feel as though all that was meant to be – was. Lately, I’ve been becoming a very firm believer in fate, in what’s meant to be, will be. That reminded me of this:
“Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.”
As I move through life, and attempt to re-learn what it means to be a part of something bigger, I’m finding myself making mistakes all over again. Some of those mistakes are made on purpose – a series of tests, of sorts – some, I find myself falling back into pits that I’ve already dug myself out of. It’s a tough struggle, but a necessary one.
I keep telling myself that it’s okay to make mistakes, and it’s okay to fail, and it’s okay to hurt. It’s all pretty horrible though … until you get to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I suppose it’s all worth it then.
Until then … be safe … be happy.